Toni’s Trails & Tales

Hear more from our Toni Brown as she traverses the length of New Zealand, following Te Araroa / The Long Pathway…

Blog Post 01:

Unlike standing on the start line for a race, it’s a self imposed start time, the distances are up to me each day and i decided to walk it because.. i thought it would be fun?
There were actually alot more reasons for it than that, I wanted to see new zealand in a new way, challenge myself, learn to rely on myself more, work on my decision making process, meet new people, feel less anxiety in new situations. Well i’ve never felt the level of anxiety, nervousness, apprehension and fear like I did the night before I started, I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep properly, and the whole way from our hotel to the cape I was shaking randomly and very quiet (unlike me to be quiet longer than 10 minutes).

It was a strange thing, packing a bag that’s going to sustain me for 5 months for the last time. Wondering if I had enough stuff, did I need more? Wanting to be as light as possible, have everything packed in just the right way, because everything in that bag is going to be on my back, transported by me across beaches, through forests, over mountains all the way down to bluff.
I’ve done it many times before, packing for a tramp, I’ve been on enough over night trips, long and short.

Feelings aside, I pushed through and started, and it was such an amazing moment, there was a weight that lifted and I suddenly remembered how good tramping is, the free-ness.
Leaving Cape Reinga lighthouse made it official, I was starting Te Araroa, there was no turning back now, which also meant no pulling out. I said a very teary goodbye to my partner and walked along the grassy cliffs, through beautiful dunes and along beaches and through scrub-lands to the first camp at twilight beach. I found the flatest bit of grass I could, pitched my tent (first try, with no adjustments) which can be a bit technical at times, and set up camp for the night feeling very happy with myself, the self doubt had lessened.

The whole way to camp I had been telling myself to break the trip down in my head, all I had to do was finish today, then the week and focus on nothing but that. It was easy to get swept up in the future of my time on trail, and where i would be heading next but i needed to focus on now.

It was later that night, I decided I couldn’t possibly be camped up next to a beach and not watch sunset before going to sleep. I crawled out of my tent and perched on a hill, soon to be joined by three other individuals and we got sharing stories of what put us on this crazy adventure. It was like having instant friends, we were all connected by this journey.

The next day, was the beginning of 90 mile beach, three days of grueling beach walking, getting hammered by the wind, walking on the hardest sand ever and having to time it with the tides to avoid walking in the dunes. I knew the first week was going to be such a mental and physical battle, but maybe a little more prep could have been good.. those people I met the first night, mentally carried me through the beach section. The stories we continued to share, songs sung as we walked and the laughter. Our bodies felt the effort we were putting in, and showed its weak points, but those people stuck it out together. Hitting Ahipara, all of us needed varying degrees of rest and with that the group split up for now.

Tomorrow my rest comes to an end, instead of facing an unrelenting beach, i’m walking into a forest of thick mud and steep climbs. Somehow, this feels more welcoming to me.

If you want to follow along, i have an instagram dedicated to my journey : @she_goesbush